the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
