I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
