You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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