in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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