So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
