To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
