What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
