why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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