I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I got inside last night via doggy door
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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