Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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