Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
