i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My balls are so social today.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
