remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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