i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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