It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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