We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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