and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
