Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
