just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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