You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
