White coat. Heels.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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