I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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