brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
