let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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