I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
