STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
