Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
