No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
