Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
