We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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