im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
