i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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