Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
