ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
