Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
birth control should be required to get into college
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
