Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
