remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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