brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
