i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize