Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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