seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
