Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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