Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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