Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
