need another drink. this is the easiest way
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
