Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize