ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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