We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
