everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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