I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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