Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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