I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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