I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
