so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
