i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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