I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
