bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
