This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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