College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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