You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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