yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
