Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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