I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
