We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
